I just had a brief moment of déjà vu, feeling quite distinctly the sense of having given away too much here, once again, and maybe one day I will regret all of this. But this is not the time to speak of regrets.

First day of school on hindsight was mostly characterised by me smiling too much too hard, until at 3pm when I reached home and crashed on the couch I felt like a stranger. Only after an hour long nap did I regain some sense of myself, fortunately.

Today I looked in the mirror: skin slowly turning pallor, withering frame. Hair still falling away in the shower. I have accepted the latter as part of the healing process. I am determined to be kind to myself physically and mentally.